Rachel Sterzer Gibson: When we feel like were falling short

Recently, I had a day pockmarked by mistakes.

To start with, I fell behind at work, which resulted in extra work for some of my coworkers. 

Later that evening, my kids and I were outside endeavoring to revive my poor, neglected rose bush when a kind ward member took time out of her day to drop off a form that I needed.

Between that time and when my husband got home from work several hours later, my 20-month-old made a huge mess in the bathroom. While trying to clean up the mess, my 3-year-old took the opportunity to mix the three loads of clean laundry I had stacked in the family room waiting to be folded and “help” by mixing them with the baskets of dirty laundry.

When the offending 3-year-old then refused to put on pajamas, I lost my temper. With dinner dishes still festering in the sink, we all ate a big bowl of ice cream, despite the fact that I’m trying to limit my sugar intake. 

When my husband got home and asked about the form our ward member had dropped off, I couldn’t find it. Anywhere. 

At that point I burst into tears. “I am failing on every level,” I wailed to my husband. “I can’t even keep the plants alive!”

In time, it will probably be funny (still too soon), but in that moment I felt stuck in a bog of my own weaknesses.

That night, when I should have been pouring my heart out to my Heavenly Father, I hesitated. I felt unworthy. I hadn’t read my scriptures or been a patient mom or a dependable coworker. I hadn’t done my ministering or helped someone else. I didn’t feel “qualified” to ask for His help.

That mindset is a land mine I’ve stepped on before, but the Lord in His loving kindness has been reminding me of a few important lessons I need to remember to avoid it in the future.

First, those feelings don’t come from Him.

Last year I covered a seminary and institute instructor training broadcast where Chad H. Webb, administrator of Seminaries and Institutes of Religion, shared an insight from Moses 4.

After Adam and Eve transgressed, their eyes were opened, and they realized they were naked. They then attempted to cover their nakedness by sewing fig leaves. When they heard the voice of the Lord in the garden, they decided to “hide themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees” (Moses 4:14).

The Lord asked them: “Where art thou?” (Genesis 3:9). Is it possible that our Father in Heaven really didn’t know? Webb asked. “So then what’s He asking? Maybe it was something like: ‘Now that you’ve transgressed, where will you go? Will you hide from me, or will you come to me and let me cover you?’” 

In Hebrew, the word “atonement” is kippur, which means “to cover,” Webb explained. “Our Father in Heaven has a much better way than fig leaves and trees to cover our sins. But the adversary whispers lies to make us want to hide from God. He strives to convince us that God does not love us and that He will not forgive us.”

At times when we feel weak or mistake-prone or sinful, we might not want to pray or read our scriptures or go to church as a way of “hiding” from God. In reality, we can find forgiveness, peace and the strength to do better in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father. 

Which leads to my second reminder: That strength to do better comes through the grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

In my studies, I stumbled upon a talk by then-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf from April 2015 general conference. He noted: “Many people feel discouraged because they constantly fall short. They know firsthand that ‘the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.’ They raise their voices with Nephi in proclaiming, ‘My soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.’”

In his talk, President Uchtdorf, then the second counselor in the First Presidency, makes an important distinction: “Salvation cannot be bought with the currency of obedience; it is purchased by the blood of the Son of God. Thinking that we can trade our good works for salvation is like buying a plane ticket and then supposing we own the airline. Or thinking that after paying rent for our home, we now hold title to the entire planet earth.”

In other words, reading the scriptures, saying my prayers, participating in ministering, worshipping at the temple, partaking of the sacrament and obeying the commandments are not part of an eternal checklist I need to tick in order to “qualify” for divine help.

Instead, they are opportunities to connect with Him and for Him to communicate His love, His teachings, His Spirit and the insights and strength I desperately need to continue moving forward. Should I be doing those things? Absolutely. But not because I’m earning a better grade on some heavenly report card.

“Grace is a gift of God, and our desire to be obedient to each of God’s commandments is the reaching out of our mortal hand to receive this sacred gift from our Heavenly Father,” President Uchtdorf taught.

So the next time you or I feel bogged down in our weaknesses, we can remember the sacred gift of grace and that His “grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).

— Rachel Sterzer Gibson is a reporter for the Church News.

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7tbTEnJ%2BuqpOdu6bD0meaqKVfoba3tc2gZJ%2BZmam1cH6Pa2pocV9nhXB%2BknFwbGxpanyzrcKhnKVlo6mys8bEq2SgoZKovK9506Ggp5%2BjYsGwedGepJ6lkpq%2FbsPHnqVmnp%2Bnsrex0WadmqScnruoedKhpqusXZy8pb%2BMoKmam5U%3D